The Savage Way

I hate being let down. You might think yeah, that’s how everyone feels about not getting a helping hand in times of need, but I don’t really think you get the anger I’m in at these moments. Still, I calm myself, think of ways to emotionally dismember my tormentor and prepare ugly consequences. The bad thing is, I’m just too incompetent to eventually execute those consequences. Or let’s say I’m the light-hearted kind who’s too easily convinced of letting his ire go.

I’m alright with being forsaken from time to time. But those situations keep massing up recently. A progress I’m not comfortable with. If while reading, you think you’re one of those I’m reffering to, it’s highly possible for that fact to be indeed true. Consider this a warning. I’m not asking for that much.

Though I guess I’ll have forgotten my intention behind this post by tomorrow anyway. FML

When I heard of James Cameron’s “Avatar” for the first time, the impression could’ve hardly been worse. Which movie could possibly dare to steal away the heading title from my most favorite movie series of all time?

Time passed and I silently cursed at my computer screen every time I saw the slightest advertisement of it. It just has to be a very bad movie, hasn’t it? I mean, look at the dumb looking creatures on the posters, am I right?

The release date finally arrived and the movie entered the Internet Movie Data Base’s ranking of top 250 movies at a ridiculous 21st place. There is just no way this movie “earned” it’s 8.8 rating, no fucking way. I already knew the ugly truth- I had to watch the movie, whether or not I wanted to. Forgive me my imdb-orientation, if you want to argue with me about its reliability, just go ahead, wouldn’t be the first time my opponent ran out of arguments*.

Well, today was the day, actually I was quite curious about the movie. Certainly we decided to watch it in 3D, as it seemed really predestined for it.

And who would have guessed, “Avatar” totally blew me away. It was not for the unusual story or the deep character development, as the critics may add, but because of the endless beauty of the whole fictitious planet Pandora. I never thought that a movie could be that good, just because it was well-made. I highly recommend this piece of art to everyone who is willing to get into a very unique and special world without any compare.

If you already thought of watching the movie, do it. Tomorrow would be best. If you don’t have the money, steal it, it’s worth it.

This Review practically says it all.

*Spare me, Kris.

Why’s it, that the ‘Coca Cola Weihnachtstruck’ commercial, combined with Melanie Thornton’s hymn ‘Wonderful Dreams’, triggers my Christmas mood immediately? I don’t even care about Santa Claus pictured on the sides, it just fits best for my image of Christmas spirit. A brightly lit truck, being driven through snowcapped landscapes, letting everyone he passes suddenly remember that Christmas time is right upon them.

That leads me to the next sobering conclusion: Christmas here is so not what it could be. It’s like every other holiday in Austria celebrated half-heartedly, as there is way too much focus put on things that, of course, are more important than decorating your doors, windows, rooftops or gardens, but still, in my opinion, should be put aside this time around. And although I still wish for a white December 24th, inside I’ve already abandoned all hope for that miracle to happen. I once more want to wake up in the morning, look outside my window and discover the whole courtyard covered white. I want to turn on the radio, experiencing the announcement being made that Vienna is entirely buried in snow, no chance of it stopping till late February. I want the city in a state of exception.

Today, when I was on my way to university, I suddenly encountered an extraordinary amount of people prostituting their personality. It might have been up to the closeness of our beloved educational structure or just a mere coinsidence… haha, sure.

However, what made me shake my head in shame was the obvious urge everyone seemed to have to express as much about themselves as possible by just being as they were. I could read one’s interests in his clothing style, I could guess a girl’s attitude by her stance, her personality by the way she held her folder tightly. Everything about them was screaming “Please, I badly need to be categorized!”. But just as much as they were like everyone else, wrapped in woolen scarfs and with coffee between their hands, I bet they defend their individuality and uniqueness at all costs. I guess the more special you try to be, the less special you get. Difference is something you’re born with, something you can’t learn or actively shape.

I do not want to arrogate that I’m someone outstanding, but I hope I’m at least not another empty face.

To keep the voyeurs satisfied, I’ll tell you a secret. Whenever I ask someone about their issues, I want to be asked about mine, too. I wouldn’t tell you, but feigned interest is better than no interest at all.

I miss you these days.

If my life was picturized, I surely wouldn’t be the one leading the story.

A protagonist (from the Greek πρωταγωνιστής (protagonistes), “one who plays the first part, chief actor”) is the main character […]

I’m the one who always loses, who’s barely thought of. I’m the character who happens to die in the middle of the movie, but still the film goes on. There are times I feel like I’m so easily replaced, I even appear strongly bland to myself. I’m the one imposing the sorrow of so many on my shoulders, as it’s easier to solve other’s problems than my own. The more I actively search for my purpose, the less significant I seem to get.

I deny to take the lifestyle I’m leading as final. I, right now, really don’t like myself. I’m still out of hand, still not achieving anything of need. Change requires time, but time is limited.

Sorry for being so serious.

Why I posted some of my favourite movies, you ask? To keep me from writing down what I really thought that moment.